I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
