love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
