I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
