Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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