Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
