he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
