he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
