brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
