I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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