love makes seman taste better
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
She's not a foreskin expert like you
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
