How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
