Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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