Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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