That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
