I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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