when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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