do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
