The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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