That's when you crack a 10am beer
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
