Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
