lets start a swedish sibling band together
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
