I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
