I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Who died my cat blue again?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
