I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
