that's an acceptable place to lick
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
