so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Randomize
