Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
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