Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
