thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
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