It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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