I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
