she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
The power of my boobs compel you
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
