you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
