i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
