awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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