Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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