Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
