508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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