Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
