She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
sex in a hospital.. check
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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