Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
