all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
