Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
