Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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