Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
