I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
