That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
