My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
