i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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