Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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