i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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