dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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