my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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